"Need of Only One Thing" 16th Sunday Ordinary Time

“There is need of only one thing,” Jesus tells us. “One thing.” Sounds like Curly the trail boss in “City Slickers”. And like Curly, Jesus doesn’t tell us what the one thing is. Only that Mary has chosen it and Martha somehow missed it. One thing. Sometimes we need a little mystery and intrigue to be open to the simplest of truths.
Our readings today focus on the burdens and chaos of hosting VIP’s. God in the case of Abraham and Sarah, and Martha and Mary. Doesn’t get much VIPer than that!
Anybody who has ever hosted a party, or family gathering knows hosting is hard. Lots of preparation. People to invite, menus to plan, food to buy, food to cook, food to time so hot things are hot, cold things are cold. Do we worry about who sits next to whom? What if Uncle Joe is still mad at Aunt Sally, they can’t sit together!
Barbara and I used to have 15-20 people over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We loved the large gatherings. We even loved hosting. Of course we lived in a townhouse at the time and trying to squeeze 20 people around one table first involved asking everyone if they needed to use the restroom. You see, once everyone sat down there was no room to get to the bathroom. Each person then received their folding chair, single filed to their place and had to puzzle out how to maneuver themselves and their chair into meal position. After the meal, no one could escape until their girth had receded somewhat. And yet, despite all the challenges, we have wondrously fond memories of those meals. The simple joy of being together, of breaking bread, celebrating life and abundance. I’d like to think we celebrated the “one thing”.
Some 4,000 years ago Abraham called himself a servant of his guests. His hosting involved dashing about getting a steer chosen, slaughtered and cooked and having Sarah make her famous light and flaky dinner rolls. And God, present in the three visitors, seemed pleased, announcing that the barren Sarah would have a son within a year.
Poor Martha dashes about in chaotic service much like Abraham and Sarah. She’s “burdened, anxious, and worried about many things.” And Jesus chastises her for missing the one thing! What causes her guest to respond so harshly? What is different about how she hosts compared with Abraham and Sarah? The clue lies in her question to Jesus. I can picture her, hair frazzled, apron askew, flour streaked across her face, and with a fiery glare of despair she proclaims just how much she has sacrificed and here no one is helping her. “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?”
Why do we host? Why go to all that trouble? We do it to put people at ease so they are free to enjoy each other. Martha has forgotten this. Mary is basking in the gift of leisure and experiencing Jesus, God with her. Then Martha goes and plays the false martyr. Doing so puts at risk the very gift she had been giving — the chance for others to experience Jesus. Jesus responds in the only way possible to salvage the gift Martha has become too burdened to give freely. “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” The better part?
It is easy to see only the surface of this Gospel. Mary is sitting in leisure with Jesus and has chosen the better part. Perhaps Martha should have left everything undone and joined Mary. But this isn’t what Jesus is saying at all. It is entirely possible that Martha could serve, be doing all the details and chaos of hosting, and also have chosen the better part. “There is need of only one thing.” Right relationship. If Martha had somehow been able to pause, take a deep breath, and recognize that the gift of her service was allowing Mary to freely enjoy being with Jesus, she may have been able to enter into the moment and also freely enjoy being with Jesus, in spite and because of her sacrifices. That is part of the gift of hosting. That is the one thing. Right relationship. The ability to recognize God present in each other, to celebrate the abundance of gift we each have been given. Martha could have hosted AND chosen the one thing. Abraham and Sarah did.
Hosting is a lot like life, isn’t it? It may be possible to experience the chaos and frenzy of life and choose the one thing, but that doesn't mean it is easy or that we automatically know how to do it. As much as I try not to let my disability drag me down to the point that I feel sorry for myself, that all I feel is the burden of what I can’t do, sometimes life is just too heavy and cruel. Sometimes I bellow to Jesus “Lord, do you not care that I carry this heavy burden and others just go about their lives?!” Perhaps we’ve all felt like Martha at times. When we do, how can we pause, take a deep breath, and shift our choice from one of burden and woe to one of gift and love?
When I feel like Martha, there are two prayers that help me.
First, naming three things I am grateful for and saying a prayer of thanksgiving for each. One, even two things can be easy. Family: Barbara and our two daughters. Thank you, God, for the love and support family gives me day in and day out! Needs met in abundance: love, shelter, food, clothing. Thank you God for the abundance you provide. Two’s easy. Three can be hard. Yet there is something glorious about finding that third thing. Somehow my soul shifts from seeing the burden and pain to seeing the gift and love. Despite all my brain damage and limitations, I am still able to read, write, play with ideas, and help support others who experience similar challenges. Thank you, God, for the parts of my brain that haven’t been damaged! The power of this prayer isn’t that it removes the obstacles of life. No. The challenges remain the same, but my attitude somehow shifts, the burden no longer matters, and I am able to carry it with joy.
The second thing that helps me enter into God’s presence, the gift of right relationship, is that I ask God to bless those who seem to be causing me burden. Most often the result is the same. I come to realize that they aren’t causing me burden intentionally if at all. They’re simply struggling with their own burden. This is a wonderful prayer for family life! In our family, we each end up with a LOT of blessings! And in traffic, school, home, or at work it really comes in handy. “Lord, bless that sass-a-frass-a-frick-a frack who irritates the heck out of me. Help them have a fulfilling day and help us each become who you created us to be.” Then, if the opportunity comes along and I’ve managed to reach a place of gratitude, I try and host them in some small way, give them a bit of freedom from their cares. Because one of the odd realities of being human is that when we fall, by reaching sideways to help others, we find it much easier to get up ourselves.
Let’s take a few moments to try these prayers out. Think of a time you felt like Martha, where the world just seemed heavy. Now, silently name three things that are gift in your life. (brief pause) What is the first one? Thank God, silently now, for the gift. The second one? Thank God for the gift. The third one? Thank God for the gift.
Now think of a time someone burdened you. Maybe it’s something from last week, or perhaps a test or review, or meeting coming up this week. Who knows, it could even be a family member! I can likely guess who Barbara’s about to pray for. Hold that person in prayer. “Lord, bless this person. Their choices and actions burden me. Help them have a fulfilling day and help us each become who you created us to be. Amen.” Now, think about how you might be able to help free them of some of their burden this week. Is there something you could do that might free them from their cares? If there is, wonderful! And if not, then you’ve forgotten you can pray for God’s blessings on them — sometimes we can’t do something directly for any number of good reasons, but prayer is always one of the best gifts we can offer. If you can help remove their cares, no matter how briefly, please — make a commitment to do so this week. Something as simple as a smile in passing, or a kind word can lighten someone’s load.
Life offers us each different challenges at different times. And at times we each feel like Martha — heavy with burden, jealousy, anger — because of the burdens we carry that other’s don’t. Can we remember the “one thing”? Each person we meet is a VIP, made in God’s image and having a unique aspect of God to reveal to the world. Can we remember to seek Jesus our Christ in each moment, each person, and host them with love and gratitude?